The boys of #Swole had been nursing their wounds after their sole defeat in the Nuffle Challenge Series Final with a rather long vacation. They've finally arrived back on campus today just in time for their season opener tonight and they seem quite refreshed. There is a certain aura about the team that wasn't quite there before, a more ominous presence if you will. There's also a couple missing faces as well as one quite unfamiliar face among them. Most notably season standout Brodolf Hitler and the team doctor were nowhere to be found. We could chalk this up to the current media blackout on campus from the coach himself, but rumors have already been spreading across the warp that those two are no longer with us. Coach DaltMc has refused all media interviews from himself as well as the team until after tonight's game. Everyone here at Dwarf U is waiting with bated breath to see their boys return to action. From what little of the team that we have saw just in transit to the Blood Bowl facilities I believe it's safe to say that there is a certain heightened intensity that wasn't there before from these dwarfs. They have always been intense, but not quite as intense as we saw them today. Please tune in tomorrow when we will have an update from coach DaltMc on all the latest #Swole news straight from the inside.
A crowd had gathered outside of the media tent here at Nuffle's gym. The band Smashing Ratskins played over the PA system in anticipation of DaltMc and his players. The media blackout has finally been lifted here at Dwarf U and coach DaltMc is staging a no holds bared tell all.
"Look I'm not going to field any questions until the end, so you can all sit down and shut up while I tell my story. Once I finish I'll answer any questions you may have, but I can assure you that you won't have any left to ask once I'm done. As you all know we did lose in the NCS Finals, there is no other way that I can put that fact other than we lost 1-0 to the Guard. Were they the better team? Was Midway the better coach? We can put all of that up to debate once our boys meet on the field again, because that is the only place where that question will ever be answered. So I will not be talking about that with anyone after tonight. That is behind us and we are moving on. What I will say is that there is a reason there is only one loss on #Swole's record. I will also say that I respect the hell out of Midway and he's a great coach. I hope he enjoys his time as the champion because we're just as hungry as ever and we're coming for it.
I'm sure you all noticed there is a few missing faces up here this season. I'll fill you all in on the missing links. You all know that star player Brodolf Hitler took a pretty serious injury in the finals. Team doctor Brosef Mengele tried everything on the sideline that he could to get him back in the game but he was too far gone. After the game and in the following days Brodolf's conditioned worsened and it was revealed that he would need a warpstone transplant in order to continue his Blood Bowl career. Mengele said that a volunteer was needed to travel with him in order to retrieve a large enough stone to save his life. Baked Brotato having an ever niggling injury graciously volunteered in hopes of saving his frat brother's life as well as relieving himself of his smashed knee. Unfortunately a fatal accident occurred on their trip when the warpstone they were attempting to mine became unstable and exploded resulting in the death of both Brosef and Baked. Our thoughts and good vibes are with them and their families as they continue to participate on the great Blood Bowl pitch in the ground. In the following days Brodolf's condition continued to worsen and there was not much that could be done. His body was frail and no longer able to play the sport that he loved. His eyes were empty as he thought of days past playing the great sport. The next day I took a long walk with Brodolf, rolling him along in his wheelchair as we talked about the great pitch in the ground and what it's like. He talked about how the sport ran in his family and how he couldn't wait to meet his ancestors. As we reached the edge of Drop Cliff far from the campus we watched one last sunset over the ocean. The sun was soon swallowed by the large waves crashing on the horizon and darkness fell. He knew it was time, I knew it was time, and it was damn sure wasn't going to be easy. I teared up and almost began to cry as he watched me load the gun when said 'Make it quick sir, I'm ready to go play Blood Bowl with my father and his father. You were always a great coach and I hope I made you proud. Tell my brothers not to cry, but to play on and remember my name. I'm going home coach.' I assured him that he made me more proud than he ever could have known. He was strong even in death with the cold steel of a revolver was pressed to his head. His eyes were no longer dead and distant but filled with joy as he thought about all the games to come. His eyes closed as he said 'I love you coach, give 'em hell for me.' I simply said 'I will and I love you too Brodolf. I'm so proud of you' with tears rolling down my face as I squeezed the trigger."
Coach couldn't continue after this and quickly left the stage. At this point in time there was not a dry eye in a mile radius and it was very apparent that this press conference was over as everyone wept in unison. Brodolf was a true Troll Slayer he loved to drink and he loved to fight the only thing he ever loved more was the thrill of a kill on the pitch. We know wherever he may end up he will kill many a more Blood Bowl players. You will be missed Brodolf. Give 'em hell.